Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
