i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
