I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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