Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i think i have two assholes
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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