after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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