How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize