It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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