Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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