i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
