My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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