You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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