those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
we should paint friendship bongs
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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