Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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