Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
