so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
