Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
