Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
