I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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