somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
