I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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