Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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