She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
