They should really pass out barf bags in church
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
