So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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