He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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