White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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