And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
