I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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