At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
sarcasm needs its own font
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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