Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she pinky promised me she was 18
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
