I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
