WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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