i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
