If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
