The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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