Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
