marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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