we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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