you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
