It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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