He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
