I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
