Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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