i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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