I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He passed out mid-signature
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
