Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Ketchup is God's man juice
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
