I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
YAS. BRING CRAB.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
