I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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