Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
