saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
