ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
