walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
