I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We are all done wearing pants today
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
