you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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